WEDDINGS
The internet is littered with examples of wedding-speech help. Many are simply plugs for sellers of such speeches. But if you take the view that you are the one delivering the speech, that you are the one who knows the bride/groom, then whatever the apprehension there is no doubt that you are the one best able to prepare the wedding speech.
Confidence grows from proper preparation - and what better preparation than the years you have known the subject of your speech, (daughter, brother, best friend). Remember, the guests know it's an emotional day, no one is demanding a polished display - but if you give one so much the better.
Preparation. The main preparation faults lie in two areas:
Failing to prepare sufficiently in advance and trying to cram in too much of the mass of material you have either lived or researched.
Sometimes the biggest problem is just breaking the spell of the blank sheet of paper on which you write your draft, ready to transfer to handy cards for use on the day. But however you start, it is never too soon to begin. Early preparation of any speech allows our sub-conscious to go on preparing while we go about our normal day.
Sometimes amusing beginnings can be inspired by linking to some key-event that happened on that day many years before. Famous weddings? Earthquake or other disaster? (Of course you are sensitive and would not overstep the bounds of good taste!).
Alternatively look for things that happened which coincided with key events in the bride/groom's life. (A useful internet source is www. historychannel.com). It may be possible to include the names of one or two of the guests present by linking a story to them.
Consider the use of an exhibit in the form of a childhood photograph or two, sufficiently enlarged to be clearly seen and/or passed around. Consider getting an assistant to produce and display these for you at the appropriate time. A useful planning technique is to think of your subject's life-timeline and take it from there. Leading up to a mention of when the two parties, bride and groom, met/ first-date etc.
The ending of most wedding speeches is controlled by custom (toasting the bridesmaids/ the couple etc) so your preparation should be a natural progression to that point. There is also the customary order of who-speaks-when which is not dealt with here.
Delivery. This is the other important aspect of any speaking task. Look at Equaville's other pages for hints on volume, pace, eye-contact, use of notes, and other skills that apply to all public-speaking.
In summary, if you have prepared well, committed that preparation to cards with key words - not a whole script, respected time-limitations, and if you have tested the microphone before the guests arrive (or tried-out your voice in the room if there is no amplification), you will have the confidence to know that your preparation is complete.
Then when the moment to speak arrives, stand up, look confident (however you feel inside), don't rush - look around, meet people's eyes, they are your friends. Take a deep breath to control some of that adrenalin rush. If you think you're going to be especially nervous with all those eyes on you at the beginning, consider using the conjuror's device of directing gaze elsewhere. Do this by displaying one of those pictures referred to earlier, or by producing a prop such as an envelope with a humorous message (genuine or contrived) from a wedding guest or someone unable to be there.
© Equaville Limited MMXXIII